Canvey Island by James Runcie

Author:James Runcie
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: (¯`'•.¸//(*_*)\\¸.•'´¯), General Fiction
ISBN: 9780747585831
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Published: 2006-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

Six

Claire

By 1983 Martin was travelling all over the country, working out suitable strategies for different sections of coastline, bringing back samples of rock, chalk and limestone so that the upstairs rooms of our house began to look like the lair of a Victorian fossil hunter. He kept talking about the fragility of cliffs and high-ridged sandstone, rippled and crumbling to the touch like spice, insisting that land was only loaned from the sea. He said that one crevice he was working on looked like a giant vagina. I told him that he should either keep quiet or develop a better knowledge of the female anatomy.

I was busy with Lucy, loving her with the same desperate and protective passion I had always had, but I still couldn’t shift my feelings of worthlessness. There had to be more to my life than washing, baking and looking after a child. I wanted to make a difference, to do some kind of good in the world, and here I was, turning into my own mother. I wasn’t bored exactly, but sometimes, out in the Lanes of Brighton, I would drift off and think about shoplifting or going missing or having vigorous sex with a complete stranger in the Royal Albion Hotel. I just didn’t know who I was any more. Whatever happened to ethical ambition? Where was that Aldermaston spirit now?

Then, towards the end of the summer term, the women’s group started to talk about the peace camp at Greenham Common. The installation of cruise missiles was set for November and the women there were appealing for others to join them. I heard one of them on the radio telling people not to be afraid: ‘You might think that you are alone, sitting at home. You may think that your contribution won’t make much difference, that you only have a tiny voice in the middle of this dark time in our history, but together we can shout, “Enough. Stop this insanity.” ’

I was angry that common English land should be appropriated and endangered by weapons controlled from another country. What was the point in having children if the government was so reckless with their future? I had marched at university and sent money to CND but here was something I could do that was practical and immediate. I even got to the stage of thinking that if I didn’t go and the cruise missiles came then any nuclear incident would be my fault because I hadn’t been there to stop them.

I knew Martin would worry as soon as he discovered my plan and so I decided to organise it in secret and then break the news to him over supper in the garden. I didn’t want there to be any doubt or for him to put on his dependent face that always made me feel guilty.

‘Can’t you go for a weekend?’ he asked.

‘That doesn’t count, does it?’ I said. ‘The missiles aren’t there for the weekend. War doesn’t break out for a weekend.’

‘But you

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